Wishes do come true...sometimes

So my birthday turned out great!! I mean 3 of my friends ditched which was pretty lame but whatever my rugger friends Kim and Lauren took me to Boston for food and then we went to hookah bar which was sick! I highly recommend going it was so chill and it tasted real good! I loved it...the people were nice and the atmosphere was very chill. It was a good way to spend my birthday...plus my other friends feel bad for missing out so I get to do birthday dinner/night twice more :) yes so all that I said before scratch that I feel a lot better now about being 20...I am living my life the way I want to! And better news, remember my post awhile back on 90s shows and how they should come back. Well someone was listening cause they are all back!! All that, Doug, kenan and kel, and so much more all back on teen nick!!! Thank you nick cannon for being down with our generation! Check out the 90s are all that midnights on teen nick!!!  So happy! Okay gotta go!!!  Oh and by the way were trying to bring the word groovy back! Let's see if it catches on :)
Bye!

Birthday part 1...

It's my birthday! I'm now officially a grown up...holy shit. My parents told me I'm getting old. Damn if I'm old then their ancient. It's weird because each birthday I've had I never felt any different but this one, I  actually feel old. 20. Well one more year till I'm 21. That'll be the shit. But I have this feeling that now I'm older I haven't fulfilled my life. I haven't spent my time the way I wanted to. Like these past years have been a waste of time. Idk its just weird. I don't feel happy at all. I feel really sad actually. I'll have to get back to you at the end of the day.
To be continued...

Finally Being Happy For Me...

<p>Ello everyone! <br>
I was trying to sound British but its kinda hard to when your reading so I guess that was kinda pointless. So update on my life. I don't know if i told you guys but I got laid off from that job I had..it sucked. I spent weeks looking for a new one. Well my search is finally over! I got my old job back from last summer! So happy and I'm getting paid what I made at my old job which was 10/hr. WINNING! I'm pumped I start on Friday. I need at least some money to go back to school with! And some other great news. Remember how I told you guys I was taking this summer to find and love me first before I can open my heart up to anyone else. Well its paying off. I started doing the insanity dvds with my good friend Kim. We've been doing this  everyday for a week and a half and I'm starting to see results :) were doing the 60 day challenge to get sweet and sexy shirts at the end of it! I'm ready to go back to school looking good :) I would love support for you guys! I need as much as possible I'm determined to get all this weight down. I'm not happy or comfortable in my own skin and I want to know what it feels like to be...happy. just thinking about it puts a smile on my face. I want my smiles to finally mean something. I do honestly feel that if I lose this weight life will be better for me. I'm tired of the comments from family you haven't seen in a while. I'm tired of being the invisible friend amongst pretty ones. Im tired of feeling like fat chopped liver or that fat girl in the crowd. I don't want to be sad anymore. I'm doing this for me. No one else but me...
Oh another update so your guys remember how I told you about this girl who started going out with a boy I told her I liked. Well I finally told her how I felt and was upset that she did it. I told her it didn't  matter anymore because they were together and I was happy that they were happy. I just wanted her to be aware that I had been hurt by her actions...she felt like shit. I was a little happy inside. A week later they broke up...I dont want to feel responsible for their breakup...but I kinda do..she told me it was because she wasn't ready for the relationship he wanted which was way too intense. Fair enough I guess. But he's all over her shit. I'm over him. It's time for me to move one. Maybe with this new life and new body the guys will finally come to me like they do with other pretty girls. It's  new semester coming up...I'm ready to make a change.
I'll keep you guys post and maybe pictures!

Signing off
- a girl finally deserving to be happy

Bumming real hard now...

Hey everyone! It's been too long. I've been trying to get on here and update you guys on my life but I haven't had the energy to. I haven't had the energy to do much these days. Before I get into all that I FINALLY got a new phone and I'm in love with it! It's the HTC evo. Advice: if you want a smartphone..fuck the blackberry okay...this phone is where its at. Android powered phones are amazing! So much to do and SO many apps lol. So yea get it. Secondly..I got a job and then I got laid off from that job. It sucked...business was slow so they laid off 8 people. So now I'm jobless and it blows. Luckily I've had interviews and I have one tomorrow..I'm aiming for two jobs so I can get a car this summer. Let's hope it all works out. I'm nervous. So now here's the issue. I'm super bummed out and I don't know why. I feel real low and I feel like everyone is ignoring me. Honestly I hate this slump I'm in cause its so hard to get out of. I feel hated. Honestly I want to cry. Then when I get like this...all these other thoughts get into my head and I get even more depressed. Movies don't help cause you know bullshit like that don't happen in the real world..thanks movies for crushing all dreams. Sometimes I don't understand what's out there for me. I just wanna crawl in a hole and die. I don't want to do anything but sit in my room. I don't know what to do anymore...