Me: "Do you smell that?"
Dad: "Smell what??"
Me:"That smell how can you not smell it?"
Dad: "Nope smell nothing"
Me: "Dad, it smells like weed!"
Dad: "How do you know what it smells like?"
Me: ******(silence) "uhm a lot of people on campus smoke it I know";)
And so that was that for now. Then we went to the movies and were mad early for it. So me and my sister went inside and got tickets and then went back to the car and waited in there.It smelt like weed again...then my dad reached over for the glove box and the smell was coming from him. But of course I was in denial so I was like no, not my dad he wouldn't.
Let me give you my history. Dad use to smoke weed and drink alot when he was younger. Then one day he just stopped and didn't drink or smoke for years. My dad is not an alcholic nor is he a pothead so don't get any ideas of him being a bad father because he's far from it. He did all of this before he was married and had kids. Well about 2-3 years ago my parents had a really bad divorce and now times are tough. During that time, it was really hard for me to cope with the fact that he wasn't around. So I ended up smoking A LOT. It was bad. I felt like weed was my only way of escaping reality. So I became a HUGE pothead my senior year of high school. Then one day I told myself this is not how I should solve my problems. I still smoke but not as much as before. Actually I don't smoke a lot just on occasions and I certainly don't judge anyone that does it. Live free is what I say.
Anywho, so today I went to my Dad's apartment and was just looking around his place and I found a joint. I froze I had no idea what to do. I wasn't even sure how to feel. I was confused but a little humored but just shocked. I didn't expect him to go back to it. So I put it back and left. He drove me home and the entire way I wanted to tell him I found it. The words were right there. But the problem was I didn't really know what to say. I was still shocked. And I felt like if I did confront him about it, he would have felt uncomfortable, which I didn't want him to feel because I didn't care I've done it before. But then I felt like if I did, then it would be a little akward. So I kept it to myself and decided that I didn't want to know why he went back to smoking. I'd rather not be bothered with all that stuff. I decided that he is a grown man and is very wise and that he knew what he was doing. If he hadn't done it before than I would be a little worried, but he has. And so have I and I know what it does. I know how it feels to want to escape reality and pretend that there are no problems in the world. I know it's not the best answer but it's something to ease ones mind. I don't think of him any different, I still see him as my great old dad. And then I thought, what was I so worried about. I LOVE it when older people smoke weed! I think it's the best way to say, "Yes, I don't give a shit, I do what I want and live my life how I want." Maybe one day I will say something but for now I'm just going to leave it as it is, in the dark, I don't want to know, I don't care and I'm going to live my life like I never found out. I mean, some of my friends, their parents smoke and their perfectly fine with is. It doesn't change who they are. It's not like he's doing lines or shoting up(THANK GOD). Then I think we'd have a problem. I love him no matter. He's my dad, my hero, my everything...<3
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